<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<rss version="2.0"
	xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"
	xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/"
	xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/"
	xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"
	xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/"
	xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/"
	>

<channel>
	<title>StrangleCorp.com</title>
	<atom:link href="http://stranglecorp.com/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://stranglecorp.com</link>
	<description>Global solutions that address the world's greatest pan-continental problems...</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Fri, 23 Dec 2011 14:43:45 +0000</lastBuildDate>
	<language>en</language>
	<sy:updatePeriod>hourly</sy:updatePeriod>
	<sy:updateFrequency>1</sy:updateFrequency>
	<generator>http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1</generator>
		<item>
		<title>WikiLeaks Accidentally Steals Secret StrangleCorp Documents.</title>
		<link>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/12/11/wikileaks-steals-secret-stranglecorp-documents/</link>
		<comments>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/12/11/wikileaks-steals-secret-stranglecorp-documents/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 11 Dec 2011 17:38:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Expletive Deleted</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Press Releases]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Death By Misadventure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stranglecorp]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wikileaks]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://stranglecorp.com/?p=1296</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Wikileaks claims to have definitive proof of StrangleCorp involvement in political scandals over the past 10 years. “StrangleCorp has a long, sordid history in the destruction of political careers,” said one Wikileak operative, speaking in silhouette through a voice modulator mere seconds before having his skull crushed by a falling camera light. Another WikiLeaks operative [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/12/11/wikileaks-steals-secret-stranglecorp-documents/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Protected: Subject&#8212;John Edwards</title>
		<link>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/12/11/subject-john-edwards/</link>
		<comments>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/12/11/subject-john-edwards/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 11 Dec 2011 17:31:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Expletive Deleted</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Classifieds]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[confidential]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[damaging testimony]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[john edwards]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[prototype device]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://stranglecorp.com/?p=1298</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/12/11/subject-john-edwards/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>StrangleCorp Admits Repossessing Russian Mars Probe</title>
		<link>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/12/03/stranglecorp-admits-repossessing-russian-mars-probe/</link>
		<comments>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/12/03/stranglecorp-admits-repossessing-russian-mars-probe/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 03 Dec 2011 16:14:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Expletive Deleted</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Press Releases]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[featured]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mars]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Phobos-Grunt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Russian]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stranglecorp]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://stranglecorp.com/?p=1281</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[StrangleCorp has admitted seizing computer control of the Russian Phobos-Grunt spacecraft, which has been stuck in the wrong orbit for almost a month now. Launched Nov. 8 on a mission to collect and return samples from Mars&#8217; moon Phobos, StrangleCorp computer geeks seized the spacecraft&#8217;s thrusters shortly after launch, stranding it stuck in a low [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/12/03/stranglecorp-admits-repossessing-russian-mars-probe/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Time traveler from 2116 reveals spoilers.</title>
		<link>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/10/29/time-traveler-from-2116-reveals-spoilers/</link>
		<comments>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/10/29/time-traveler-from-2116-reveals-spoilers/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 29 Oct 2011 16:02:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Expletive Deleted</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Press Releases]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[neanderthal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stranglecorp]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[time traveler]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://stranglecorp.com/?p=1264</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE&#8211;October 29, 2011 StrangleCorp has hired a time traveler from the year 2116 as Lead Researcher for the company after he startled officials with dire warnings about the future of Mankind a little more than a century into the future. Arriving in a ball of blue plasma outside the White House, the naked [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/10/29/time-traveler-from-2116-reveals-spoilers/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Homeland Security cites credible Godzilla threat</title>
		<link>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/10/22/homeland-security-cites-credible-godzilla-threat-2/</link>
		<comments>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/10/22/homeland-security-cites-credible-godzilla-threat-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 22 Oct 2011 20:17:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Expletive Deleted</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Classifieds]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Surplus Sales]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Godzilla]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[homeland security]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stranglecorp]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://stranglecorp.com/?p=1255</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[After months of deceiving the public that the color code system was obsolete, Homeland Security has suddenly elevated the alert level to &#8220;Red&#8221; in the New York City area. The re-creation and elevation of the confusing alert system occurred after receiving information that indicates a high probability that terrorists will try and unleash a giant [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/10/22/homeland-security-cites-credible-godzilla-threat-2/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Rush Hour 4 Stalled?</title>
		<link>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/10/15/rush-hour-4-stalled/</link>
		<comments>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/10/15/rush-hour-4-stalled/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 15 Oct 2011 16:01:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Expletive Deleted</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Press Releases]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chris Tucker]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jackie Chan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rush Hour 4]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stranglecorp]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://stranglecorp.com/?p=1236</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[While promoting their newest film Rush Hour 4 in New York City yesterday, Jackie Chan apparently became enraged at Chris Tucker&#8217;s self-promotion as the &#8220;star&#8221; of the franchise and strangled him to death in front of hundreds of shocked on-lookers. The former Mr. Nice Guy allegedly mocked Tucker with, &#8220;Can you understand the words NOT [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/10/15/rush-hour-4-stalled/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>StrangleCorp notes the passing of Steve Jobs</title>
		<link>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/10/06/stranglecorp-notes-the-passing-of-steve-jobs/</link>
		<comments>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/10/06/stranglecorp-notes-the-passing-of-steve-jobs/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 06 Oct 2011 19:52:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Expletive Deleted</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Press Releases]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Steve Jobs]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://stranglecorp.com/?p=1229</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[October 6, 2011—StrangleCorp Press Release&#8212;Will Strangle, CEO and owner of StrangleCorp, noted the passing of Steve Jobs and recalled him as “The only man I couldn’t buy…unlike that Bill Gates fellow!” Briefly acquainted during an acid trip in the mid 70’s, Jobs and Strangle became quick rivals who despised each other worst than Sarah Palin [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/10/06/stranglecorp-notes-the-passing-of-steve-jobs/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Sun releases strong solar flares: StrangleCorp vows retailiation</title>
		<link>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/09/11/sun-seleases-strong-solar-flares-stranglecorp-vows-retailiation/</link>
		<comments>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/09/11/sun-seleases-strong-solar-flares-stranglecorp-vows-retailiation/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 11 Sep 2011 15:54:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Expletive Deleted</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Press Releases]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[football]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[solar flare]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stranglecorp]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sunspot activity]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://stranglecorp.com/?p=1217</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[September 11, 2011&#8211;FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE The sun unleashed a series of vicious attacks against Earth this week, leaving the entire planet vulnerable to catastrophic sports disruptions unseen in modern times. Sunspot 1283 generated four strong flares, an M5.3 flare (Sept. 5), an X2.1 (Sept. 6), an X1.8 (Sept. 7) and a M6.7 on the 9th. [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/09/11/sun-seleases-strong-solar-flares-stranglecorp-vows-retailiation/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>8</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>StrangleCorp applauds White House trashing environmental policy</title>
		<link>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/09/04/stranglecorp-applauds-white-house-trashing-environmental-policy/</link>
		<comments>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/09/04/stranglecorp-applauds-white-house-trashing-environmental-policy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 04 Sep 2011 15:03:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Expletive Deleted</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Press Releases]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Environmental regulation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[featured]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ozone]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[smog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stranglecorp]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://stranglecorp.com/?p=1204</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[StrangleCorp posted a full-page ad in major newspapers across the U.S. praising the White House’s decision Friday to walk away from the stricter ozone pollution standards it had been promising for three years. “Sticking with the Bush-era standards is exactly what we paid for. Finally, we’re getting our money’s worth out of this Administration”, said [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/09/04/stranglecorp-applauds-white-house-trashing-environmental-policy/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>StrangleCorp to dump Treasuries, invest in human organs</title>
		<link>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/07/17/stranglecorp-to-dump-treasuries-invest-in-human-organs/</link>
		<comments>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/07/17/stranglecorp-to-dump-treasuries-invest-in-human-organs/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 17 Jul 2011 14:36:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Expletive Deleted</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Press Releases]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bonds]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Debt ceiling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[default]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[human organs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stranglecorp]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[treasuries]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://stranglecorp.com/?p=1197</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[An ounce of gold or a pound of flesh, it all costs the same.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://stranglecorp.com/2011/07/17/stranglecorp-to-dump-treasuries-invest-in-human-organs/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
		</item>
	</channel>
</rss>

