Homeland Security cites credible Godzilla threat
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Classifieds, Surplus Sales on 22. Oct, 2011 | 3 Comments
After months of deceiving the public that the color code system was obsolete, Homeland Security has suddenly elevated the alert level to “Red” in the New York City area. The re-creation and elevation of the confusing alert system occurred after receiving information that indicates a high probability that terrorists will try and unleash a giant [...]
FOR SALE: One HAARP Device, slightly used
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Surplus Sales on 08. Jan, 2011 | 10 Comments
One High Frequency Active Auroral Research Project Device (HAARP Model 4D216) is offered for sale to the highest bidder. Fully tested and operational, this device has the demonstrated capability to kill blackbirds, drum, doves, devil crabs, red snapper and much, much more. Can be calibrated to be species specific (manual included).
FOR SALE – Seismic Wave Amplifying Transducer
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Surplus Sales on 26. Oct, 2010 | 6 Comments
Seismic Wave Amplifying Transducer (SWAT), moderately used, still under warranty. Device has proven capability to generate and couple forces into any elastic medium such as the earth for the generation of seismic vibrations.
Madcap Super-Scientist’s Haven!
Posted by Admin in Surplus Sales on 27. Dec, 2008 | 0 Comments
Are you a scientist with ideas so radical no government or institution will fund or even permit you to ply your trade? If so, please keep reading! Imagine a world without those restrictions, where all the latest equipment is at your disposal, and no one ever bugs you about “ethics” or “morals” or “reasons” or [...]
Gross (144) Decoy Self-Destruct Buttons
Posted by Admin in Surplus Sales on 27. Dec, 2008 | 2 Comments
When avoiding a last-minute meltdown of your diabolic plan, the Achilles heel is all too often the seemingly necessary “Self Destruct Button”. You can’t get rid of it for obvious reasons of practicality and meme conformity, so what can you do to stop last-minute spies from nipping your nefarious endeavors in the bud, is high [...]
Seductress Thwarting Micro-Parasites For Sale
Posted by Admin in Surplus Sales on 27. Dec, 2008 | 2 Comments
If you’re looking to spite a past seductress who did you wrong, or just keep the ammunition for such an attack close at hand, we a non-lethal option for your consideration. Through an affiliate arrangement with providers of parasitic and viral, fungal and microbial strains, we are able to help you buy a traditional colony [...]
Live Anthrax Packets For Sale
Posted by Admin in Surplus Sales on 27. Dec, 2008 | 0 Comments
NOTE: Mailing sized increments no longer available. Due to USPS restrictions, we now only sell them in the form of unrefined dirt, similar to what you may find 2-3 feet beneath the surface of almost any pasture in the world.
Negative Energy Generator For Sale
Posted by Admin in Surplus Sales on 27. Dec, 2008 | 0 Comments
The uses for negative energy are almost as numerous as those for traditional energy, and this device will allow you to harness the power of energy cancellation in ways few could hope to yoke.
Crimson Laser Beams For Sale
Posted by Admin in Surplus Sales on 27. Dec, 2008 | 1 Comment
Box of 10 compact, hand-held, battery operated laser devices available. These devices will pass any airport security, and can emit a ruby-red beam of ultra-focused light for a period of many hours before depleting the batteries.
Doomsday Device (Still In Box)
Posted by Admin in Surplus Sales on 27. Dec, 2008 | 0 Comments
Pallet-sized crate containing what appears to be an extremely elaborate doomsday device for sale or trade. Only good for one mass-killing, and may or may not function according to design.
