StrangleCorp CEO Denies sending picture of wiener to coeds.
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Careers on 07. Jun, 2011 | 3 Comments
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE—June 7, 2011– Will Strangle, CEO and owner of the multi-national corporation StrangleCorp, has denied sending pictures of his wiener to college coeds following him on Twitter. “I’ll have to confirm, but I’m pretty sure that’s not my wiener,” said Strangle at a hastily assembled press conference. “That one is goose-stepping to the [...]
Employee fired for hacking Rep. Weiner’s “ClownWeiner.com” Website
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Careers on 01. Jun, 2011 | 10 Comments
StrangleCorp is pleased to announce an immediate opening in its IT department. An employee in StrangleCorp’s IT department was fired today after admitting he posted lewd photos to Rep. Weiner’s “ClownWeiner.com” website.
StrangleCorp Management Opening—Manager of Regulatory Affairs
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Careers on 09. Oct, 2010 | 0 Comments
Manager of Regulatory Affairs Requirements of Position: The Manager of Regulatory Affairs will be responsible for directing all Big Government regulatory oversight away from StrangleCorp and its far flung business interests. The Manager will direct day-to-day obfuscation of possibly illegal activities by StrangleCorp and its subsidiaries and interfere with any investigations by governmental agencies that [...]
StrangleCorp Job Opening
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Careers on 07. Oct, 2010 | 0 Comments
Position #92910-Post Faulty Hardware Engineer-Moon Field Office Job Description: Provide technical support in the maintenance of faulty, failing, obsolete, misapplied and otherwise nonfunctional hardware that’s either past its warranty date or manufactured in one of our many sweatshops across the globe.
StrangleCorp Open Position
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Careers on 07. Oct, 2010 | 0 Comments
Position: #HO1stClass-Hospitality/Comfort Girl#23 Job Description: Provide “comfort” for Company personnel in isolated duty stations. All positions are overseas but require only fluency in guttural sounds of pleasure translatable into any language. StrangleCorp is particularly interested in applicants with any combination of the following skill-sets: Berlin Booty Call, Rustic Trombone, Angry Somali, Swamp Donkey Swap, Bangkok [...]
StrangleCorp Management Opening
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Careers on 07. Oct, 2010 | 2 Comments
Corporate Fleet Manager Requirements of Position: The Fleet Manager will be in charge of the corporate fleet and direct all maintenance activities including vehicle modification, up-armoring and weaponization. The Fleet manager will supervise 120 highly-trained and expendable personnel in a dozen cities across the globe as a faceless taskmaster with absolutely no sense of humor [...]
StrangleCorp Executive Opening
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Careers on 07. Oct, 2010 | 0 Comments
Director of Disinformation Requirements of Position: The Director of Disinformation supports the mission of StrangleCorp by refuting, deflecting, restating, misdirecting, subverting, or disproving any information that can possibly be used to maliciously affect operations and cut into The Company’s bodacious profit margin. The applicant should be ruthlessly efficient in the techniques of brow-beating, mass manipulation, [...]
StrangleCorp Job Opening
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Careers on 07. Oct, 2010 | 2 Comments
Position: Pro-Liar#93010–Media Relations Specialist Job Description: This position is required to publicly represent StrangleCorp and act as a point of contact for media. Putting the Company in the best possible light by deft twisting of the truth, obfuscation and outright deception are the core duties of this job.
Work Mans Wanted
Posted by Admin in Careers on 27. Dec, 2008 | 0 Comments
Due to an unexpected “mass exodus” that struck our last round of workers, we’re once again short-handed, and our spring tune up is nigh at hand. Consider joining us today for maintenance, improvement and security positions with free haircuts, uniforms, room & board, health care and excellent opportunities for career advancement. You’ll be paid handsomely [...]
Experienced Trap Door Engineer Wanted
Posted by Admin in Careers on 27. Dec, 2008 | 0 Comments
I have a defective trap door in my office that needs attention, but also would like to have many more installed around my various properties, as well as in my land, sea and airborne vehicles, including a dirigible.
