The Butler Did It!
Posted on 26. May, 2012 by Expletive Deleted in Careers, Press Releases
(StrangleCorp Press Release—26 May 2012 "There are two kinds of creatures in this universe: those who convert and those who have a fully armed warship in orbit. YOU CONVERT! "
“The book has the fast-paced plot, intricate connections and political intrigue of a Tom Clancy novel written under the influence of Robotussin,” said StrangleCorp VP of HR, May Helm. “Unveiling corruption, money-laundering and an internal power struggle within the Vatican, the documents embarrassed The Vatican worst than that Alien Communion debacle in 2011.” Ms. Helm declined to elaborate on the alien encounter, and would only add, “It suffices to say aliens get really pissed off when you try to deny them communion.”
Last month, the Vatican gave Cardinal Julian Herranz a “pontifical mandate” to find a patsy as the source of hundreds of personal letters, emails, texts, tweets, Facebook posts and other confidential documents released to Nuzzi. With the covert aid of StrangleCorp’s VP of Operations, Sal O’ Graves, Herranz quickly uncovered “evidence” that fingered Paolo as the guy after several high-school students tried to purchase the documents on Craiglist, thinking it was a term paper. “He may have gotten away with it, too, if he hadn’t been for those damned kids,” said O’Graves.
Pope Benedict expressed his appreciation for the support StrangleCorp has provided in this matter and promised to “maintain the strong working relationship The Vatican and StrangleCorp currently enjoy in global money-laundering operations.”
Zabih
Jun 16th, 2012
I have been trying to ifditney Paolo Gabriele’s exact title as Butler. Obviously, he is not officially called the Butler .I’ve read that he is the Papal Chamberlain. There are 3 such fellows: the Camerlengo of the Holy Roman Church, the Camerlengo of the Sacred College of Cardinals, and the Camerlengo of the Roman Clergy. I’m not sure which one – if any – of the above is Gabrielle’s rank. Anyway, I’m sure most people aren’t consciously aware that the Vatican (as a country), has its own military (the Swiss Guards), its own police, at its own courts. The Vatican is not merely an absolute monarchy governing a city. Gabrielle will be tried and is incarcerated in the Vatican – the world’s smallest country.Al BloomfieldOcala, Florida USA
Expletive Deleted
Jun 17th, 2012
I have consulted The Oracle (i.e. the-search-engine-who-shall-not-be-named) and found that you are indeed correct.
The use of the word ‘butler’ to describe such a position within the Vatican has a demeaning air about it.
Be that as it may, we might remind you not to be so smart in the future, lest you draw undesired attention. Just saying…
Pro Pet
Jun 21st, 2012
yeah not bad