Time traveler from 2116 reveals spoilers.
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Press Releases on 29. Oct, 2011 | 3 Comments
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE–October 29, 2011 StrangleCorp has hired a time traveler from the year 2116 as Lead Researcher for the company after he startled officials with dire warnings about the future of Mankind a little more than a century into the future.
Homeland Security cites credible Godzilla threat
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Classifieds, Surplus Sales on 22. Oct, 2011 | 3 Comments
After months of deceiving the public that the color code system was obsolete, Homeland Security has suddenly elevated the alert level to “Red” in the New York City area. The re-creation and elevation of the confusing alert system occurred after receiving information that indicates a high probability that terrorists will try and unleash a giant [...]
Rush Hour 4 Stalled?
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Press Releases on 15. Oct, 2011 | 3 Comments
While promoting their newest film Rush Hour 4 in New York City yesterday, Jackie Chan apparently became enraged at Chris Tucker’s self-promotion as the “star” of the franchise and strangled him to death in front of hundreds of shocked on-lookers.
StrangleCorp notes the passing of Steve Jobs
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Press Releases on 06. Oct, 2011 | 3 Comments
October 6, 2011—StrangleCorp Press Release—Will Strangle, CEO and owner of StrangleCorp, noted the passing of Steve Jobs and recalled him as “The only man I couldn’t buy…unlike that Bill Gates fellow!”
