StrangleCorp employee terminated for drunk-dialing governor Scott Walker
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Press Releases on 24. Feb, 2011 | 0 Comments
A low-level lackey loosely linked to StrangleCorp was terminated yesterday for allegedly drunk-dialing Wisconsin governor Scott Walker.
Sal O’Graves: “OK, we’ll stop the snow now!”
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Press Releases on 10. Feb, 2011 | 4 Comments
After a week of bitter cold and record-breaking snowfall across the interior of the United States, StrangleCorp’s Chief Operating Officer, Sal O’Graves told reporters that the snow should end for the time being. “Spring will be back next week, so get out there and buy something!” When asked what role, if any, StrangleCorp could possibly [...]
Missing Mummies Seized at Slim Jim Factory
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Press Releases on 05. Feb, 2011 | 5 Comments
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE–February 5, 2011- Several mummies missing from The Egyptian Museum in Cairo have been recovered at a local Slim Jim factory. The mummies appeared to be in good condition and have been moved to an undisclosed location for their safe-keeping.
