StrangleCorp apologizes for mass blackbird kill
Posted on 03. Jan, 2011 by Expletive Deleted in Press Releases
1000′s of blackbirds rained from the skies in a one mile radius over Beebe, Arkansas late New Year’s Eve, frightening hundreds of local residents who thought it was the Apocalypse. Dr. Gunter Chang apologized for the incident, calling it unfortunate. “We were aiming for the crows,” he said. “We are truly sorry if we prematurely panicked the locals.”StrangleCorp denies it was testing a new weapon at the time of the mass bird kill. “We will neither confirm nor deny StrangleCorp is in possession of any kind of super-weapon with such capabilities,” said VP of Legal Affairs Dewey Pummel. “However, anyone who would like to place a bid on such a hypothetical device is invited to contact StrangleCorp directly to discuss terms.”




EvilD
Jan 3rd, 2011
So did you kill the Drum in the Arkansas river, too? If so, I’d like to contract your services on some prarie dogs.
Gort
Jan 4th, 2011
I didn’t do that!
Hector Laprarie
Mar 14th, 2011
Amazing freakin blog here. I almost cried while reading it!
krycek
Mar 14th, 2011
We don’t want your tears. It’s your fear we’re after.