The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Coming to a Theater Near You
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Press Releases on 28. Nov, 2010 | 15 Comments
After careful analysis of Mel Gibson’s success with “Apocalypto”, StrangleCorp has committed to produce a film with master mimic of mythology George Lucas. George has signed on to sink his directing chops and vast FX technology into the biggest epic of mayhem and violence ever witnessed by mankind: The Apocalypse. With a production budget equal [...]
The National Enquirer sleeps with the fishes.
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Press Releases on 21. Nov, 2010 | 8 Comments
NEW YORK (Independent) – American Media Inc, publisher of the National Enquirer and the Star supermarket tabloids filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection Wednesday.
Nazi UFO Reports Bogus!
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Press Releases on 21. Nov, 2010 | 10 Comments
November 22, 2010–Germany (Der Luge World News)—According to news reports surfacing in totally unreliable media, Adolph Hitler reportedly gave orders to his staff to develop a “super weapon” that could change the face of World War II. After the ill-conceived “reality show format” failed miserably to end the war, Nazi scientists then allegedly developed their [...]
StrangleCorp Denounces Exorcist Training As “More Anti-Business Regulation”
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Press Releases on 13. Nov, 2010 | 2 Comments
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Friday–November 12, 2010–StrangleCorp denounced a two-day training course in Baltimore this weekend designed to outline the basis of evil and instruct clergy on evaluating the characteristics of demonic possession.
StrangleCorp Buys NFL’s Foam Finger Franchise for $700,000,000
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Press Releases on 12. Nov, 2010 | 1 Comment
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Friday—November 12, 2010–StrangleCorp purchased rights to the NFL’s foam finger franchise for an estimated $700,000,000 over five years, expanding StrangleCorp’s death-grip on the useless novelty merchandise market.
StrangleCorp Denies Missile Launch
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Press Releases on 10. Nov, 2010 | 2 Comments
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Tuesday-November 9, 2010–StrangleCorp denies any responsibility for a possible a missile launched off the coast of California Monday. Military and aviation officials say they don’t know who may have launched a mysterious object spotted in the sky late Monday off the Southern California. However, initial suspicions of involvement by the global mega-corporation [...]
“How to Know When it’s Time to Go!” — By May Helm, VP Human Relations, StrangleCorp
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Tutorials on 09. Nov, 2010 | 2 Comments
In my 30 years as a professional employment specialist, I have created the state of unemployment many times for many different reasons. Each “involuntary separation” has its own set of unique challenges and style points, but I consider a few aspects universally applicable. There are numerous articles outlining the minutia of keeping a job, but [...]
StrangleCorp’s Virtual Mayberry House-of-Horrors Raises $10-Million for Charity
Posted by Admin in Press Releases on 08. Nov, 2010 | 2 Comments
StrangleCorp treated assorted executives from some of the country’s largest corporations to an exclusive Halloween event which raised an estimated $10 million for an unnamed charity. Besides old-fashioned games such as the “Cash-Bag Toss” and “Put the Pin Back in the Hand Grenade”, the undisputed highlight of the festival was the “Virtual Mayberry House of [...]
STRANGLECORP’S Dia de los Muertos Celebrations Lauded
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Press Releases on 06. Nov, 2010 | 2 Comments
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Friday—November 5, 2010: StrangleCorp held its first annual Dia de los Muertos celebration for a select group of employees this week, capping a frenzied public relations campaign designed to soften its corporate image. A group of 25 lackeys and henchmen were selected by their immediate supervisors to participate in a day of [...]
