StrangleCorp to Deploy Zombie Technology
Posted on 29. Oct, 2010 by Expletive Deleted in Press Releases
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Sunday October 31, 2010 — StrangleCorp announces a break-through in advanced zombie technology and plans to have a zombie workforce in place by the end of 2011. Since zombies are most adept at performing menial jobs humans do not want to do, this is expected to vastly reduce StrangleCorp’s labor cost, allowing for more investment into other emergent technology, such as mass satellite hypnosis and its currently stalled quantum cannon project. StrangleCorp plans to field a fully zombie army by the end of 2012, just in time to coincide with the mass hysteria associated with the end of the Mayan calendar.
Jason
Nov 15th, 2010
I dated a zombie once. She was crazy deadly, but I only later found out she was a meth head. I’m still not sure.
Mr. Wizard
Nov 18th, 2010
Too late Stranglecorp. This technoogy has been exploited since 2004 when ABC’s Lost proved to an entire nation that zombies are in control of the world.
Baby Jane
Nov 20th, 2010
So after wasting four years in college in werewolf studies, the future is in zombies?
krycek
Nov 20th, 2010
Guess if you had known zombies were the future, you’d have majored in politics.
krycek
Nov 26th, 2010
Actually, we prefer to think of it as “organic reprograming”. As long as we keep brains in the vending machines, zombies keep working that overtime.