Resume of Dewey Pummel Vice-President of Legal Affairs
Posted by Admin in Management Profiles on 29. Oct, 2010 | 2 Comments
Profile: Licensed attorney in private practice since 1978 in New York, California and Mississippi. Board Certified Civil Trial Specialist with extensive experience in document forgery. Recognized specialist in witness intimidation and covert bribery. Experience: Lead counsel defending Union Carbide in Bhopal, India against wrongful death claims resulting from the overtly self-inflicted mass poisoning of 15,000+ [...]
StrangleCorp to Deploy Zombie Technology
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Press Releases on 29. Oct, 2010 | 5 Comments
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Sunday October 31, 2010 — StrangleCorp announces a break-through in advanced zombie technology and plans to have a zombie workforce in place by the end of 2011. Since zombies are most adept at performing menial jobs humans do not want to do, this is expected to vastly reduce StrangleCorp’s labor cost, allowing [...]
Judicious Use of Cognitive and Physical Trauma to Elicit Psychic Response
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Tutorials on 29. Oct, 2010 | 2 Comments
Research in the area of the psychic science lags considerably behind other research fields primarily due to lack of reproducible quantitative data obtained under controlled conditions. In an effort to establish methodologies that can be used to research all manner of psychic phenomena, a series of studies were conducted at the Shadenfreude Institute of Cognitive Studies in Tulsa, OK.
StrangleCorp Opposes Prop 19 – Vows to Keep Marijuana Illegal
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Press Releases on 29. Oct, 2010 | 6 Comments
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Friday, October 29, 2010 — StrangleCorp has committed to defeating California’s “anti-business” Proposition 19 marijuana law and plans to lead the way to defeating similar pro-drug legislation spreading across the nation. StrangleCorp’s position is that drug trafficking is a high-profit business sector for many organizations across the globe and is actively working [...]
StrangleCorp Cancels Annual Baby Seal Hunt
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Press Releases on 28. Oct, 2010 | 4 Comments
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Tuesday, October 26, 2010 — StrangleCorp has canceled its annual baby seal hunt after the U.S. government drastically reduced its estimate for the amount of oil and gas found in Alaska’s North Slope. The revised estimate of oil is approximately 10% of the 2002 estimate, making the seal hunt “no longer worth [...]
StrangleCorp Announces Take-Over of StruggleCorp
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Press Releases on 28. Oct, 2010 | 1 Comment
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Wednesday, October 27, 2010 — StrangleCorp announces that the take-over of Strugglecorp and all its energy assets is now complete. Following a precipitous drop in Strugglecorp’s stock-price following a sex scandal involving senior management and undisclosed livestock, StrangleCorp was favorably positioned to buy up massive amounts of assets for a song. The [...]
FOR SALE – Seismic Wave Amplifying Transducer
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Surplus Sales on 26. Oct, 2010 | 6 Comments
Seismic Wave Amplifying Transducer (SWAT), moderately used, still under warranty. Device has proven capability to generate and couple forces into any elastic medium such as the earth for the generation of seismic vibrations.
Resume of Sal O’Graves
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Management Profiles on 24. Oct, 2010 | 1 Comment
30 years experience wreaking havoc, mayhem, carnage, and destruction to property across the globe.
StrangleCorp Rejects “Cap and Trade” – Pledges Abundant Supply of Greenhouse Gases
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Press Releases on 22. Oct, 2010 | 0 Comments
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE—StrangleCorp has conceptually rejected legislation to implement “cap and trade” restrictions on greenhouse gas production. Speaking on behalf of StrangleCorp, VP of Legal Affairs Dewey Pummel called the legislation a blatant attempt to drive up the cost of greenhouse gases by diminishing the supply. “StrangleCorp remains dedicated to meeting global GHG demand by [...]
Resume of Robert Baron
Posted by Expletive Deleted in Management Profiles on 17. Oct, 2010 | 0 Comments
RESUME OF ROBERT BARON Chief Financial Officer of StrangleCorp – 2009 – present. Project Planning/Financial Plotting/Corporate Plundering /Mergers and Acquisitions Senior executive with 17 years experience in management, leadership, and cowering before assorted Boards of Directors, investment banks and loosely consolidated organized crime shell corporations. CPA/MBA/B.S. in Animal Husbandry along with a record of success [...]
